Lord

I am lying on the ground. I stand up. I see a door in front. Solid iron door. As I push the door open I ponder where I am.

The door is open and I enter what seems to be a dark cave lit by flames at the sides. The hush silence breaks into cries as I start walking inside. I can hear the cries but may be it is too dark to see anyone. There is a definite familiar feeling with the darkness, the flames and the cries.

What are those on the ground? Ants? Have I been stepping on them all the while? Wait a minute. There is blood! These are miniature humans, running around on the ground. It is their cries. Somehow these cries, the blood don’t repel me. It excites the darkness inside me. It brings an evil smile. I keep walking. I keep stomping. Thinking I am meant to. All the while gaining that sadistic bit of pleasure out of it.

While I carry on venturing inside, I realise I know nothing of who I am? All I know of myself is a fleeting memory of being pushed from the clouds. I remember heading straight downwards. I remember turning into a ball of fire. I remember a thud that landed me on the ground. Beyond that there is nothing what I recollect. My curious venture leads me to a place which can only be described as a magnum opus created by Hephaestus himself. A fountain of lava, water falls of blood. At the crux of it are humans. Not just miniature ones, infact of all builds. Big, fat, small, thin. Humans walking on 2 legs, humans walking on all fours. They are carrying out deeds that would inflict them pain. They however all end up being the sources for fountains and waterfalls.

Though I don’t really know who I am, though I don’t know what exactly this place is, I recognise the underlying emotion that is pain. I however don’t feel condolences for it. It infact widens my gaze, gets my heart racing, blood running and opens the pandora’s box that was home to my darkness. I cannot deny or hide from the fact that darkness has a major role in my existence.

My self-reflection is cut short by a sudden boisterousness. I see a human of enormous proportions charging at me on all fours. He has this look on his face that says he has had enough. It says he is not going to be the food for incinerating fountains nor bone crushing waterfalls. It says this moment right now it all ends. All the humans around watching in stunned silence want the beast to succeed; they have a look of hope. As it seems I am the bad guy here. Seconds after this puzzling realization, I look to my self-defence. I grab a whip that was hanging on the wall and let it swing.

As the whip curls in air, waiting for its prey, incidents flash in my head that clear my existential clouds.

I was a resident up in the heavens. I was obsessed with the moon. Her light gave me warmth of a cuddle, Her multiple forms were picturesque to the eyes. I dived so deep in the oceans of my obsession that I knew no daylight. I became the night that surrounds the moon. It did not sit well with the other residents obviously. They chained me; separated me from the moon. I was taken to the edge of the clouds and below me was rampant darkness.

Now, as the beast approaches and my swinging whips hurls down to inflict, I find myself in a state of harmonious rage. You see, by excommunicating me they indeed took my moon away, they scarred my heart and left me to rot, but here I am reunited with myself. I am the bad guy. I am the darkness. The walls of the cave that shudder from the beast's awakening sound to me like a call by the walls of hell to their master.

I call upon the beast to embrace my whip and bleed on my feet. With that my whip lashes onto its head and slashes it out with its backbone like a shish from a kebab, leaving its hot blood cleansing my feet. Look of the people changed from hope to panic to fear to despair.

If you had been a spectator the look on my face would have said “I don’t know you, I don’t know what you did and I don’t know why you are here, but sorry my rage is unquenchable and you shall bear it because I am the lord here. I am the lord of hell.”

Home

I have read somewhere that “Life is a journey homeward bound”. What of a soul who does not have a home? Where is it bound? I happened to have met with someone like that. He is a gypsy roaming land to land without a purpose. By a lot of standards this guy seems strange to me. How can he still smile? Does he still believe he will find something? I almost get irritated when I see his juvenile attitude. Playing with kids, helping out strangers, roaming free like a cow, eating leftovers and still sleeping on the road with a content look. How does he do that? Has his quest turned him bonkers? Or does he not know that he is truly lost?

I couldn’t take it anymore and thus with an intention to confront him and find out what is wrong with him I went and sat next to him near a fireplace.  He recognized me. We exchanged smiles. I started straight away by explaining him how he is lost and his actions are symptoms of madness. I ended by saying he would never find his home and his life is a defeated purpose. He listened to me intently, patiently and asked “What is a home?”

I reciprocated the patience and answered back “Where you feel secure”

“It is a bunker then?” He said

“You know what I mean” I said

“Do you know what you mean?” He said and then he started.

“Home is where your soul is content. It is a full stop to your set of sentences (Could be a joke, essay or an epic). It took me months of darkness to realise that. But when I did realise that the chirping birds sounded like my siblings calling, Drop of water falling from a petal felt like the gentle hands of my mother feeding and sun’s rays were the dutiful backing of my father. I lied down on the grass and I felt like diffusing into the ground like a sugar cube dissolves in water. Boy I was home. Home sweet home”

Insomnia

There is a zombie I know, blabber mouth that guy. He likes to blabber; nay blabbering is all he does. Probably he is blabbering right now somewhere. Anyways, this guy starts telling me the story of the time he talked to the moon.

Now see, to be lovey dovey is actually not in the nature of us zombies. We are straight forward and to an extent selfless people. Ya! We are selfless and we are people! You know why we run up to the humans every time we see them? Our intention is not to kill and consume them initially. We want to tell “Kill us! Kill us please! We are bored of this life!” It is just that your inability to kill us pisses us off and we finally eat you. If it feels any better we savour you! You guys are tasty! Your guts are like noodles to us.  Your brain is like gello, God, I love gello! The only things I like more than eating the brain is the salty blood, it’s like tomato soup. There are couple of guys who actually cooled the blood and found out a way to carbonate it. It’s our version of Fanta! Bloody brilliant!

Ahem! But let’s not get carried away. I was telling you about this blabber mouth who told me that he talked to the moon. Now, as you might have read in the afore mentioned paragraph, that we are not a lovey dovey bunch and this seemed a bit romantic to me. So, when this guy comes up and tells me this, I took it seriously. In some ways more seriously than a human would have taken it. You know because we are not a lovey dovey bunch, Humans have it in excess so seem not to give a damn about it. In our world it is a scarce resource, perhaps if you think of oil you’ll be able to understand the feeling I am trying to express.

So anyway, this guy starts telling me the story. It seems one day he just couldn’t sleep (can happen if you eat a dumb brain), so he went for a stroll. There was this playing ground nearby and he was going round and round.

Suddenly somebody asked him “What are you doing?”

“Who?” he asked

“Me the Moon”

“Ah! You Moon” he said

“You seem surprised! Haven’t you noticed me before?” Moon said

“No, it’s not that. I did notice you, who would not notice you? It is just that I never thought you would talk to me. I always thought you are for humans” He said

“There is a difference between being a human and termed as human” Moon said

“So, what’s up? I mean not that I don’t know you are up, I mean what’s going on?” He said

“Nothing much, but why are you going round and round?” Moon said

“Can’t sleep” He said

“Let’s talk” Moon said

And this guy then starts explaining how they talked for hours. The Moon was just too damn charming for our fella here. He said now he understands why all vampires, werewolves, ghosts and all sorts of creatures that humans hate, find haven in night. It’s not the dark, it’s the moon. Moon makes them feel comfortable, moon makes them feel that they are not alone; moon makes them feel that they are not pathetic.

He fell quite after this and we shared a moment of silence. I could feel what he means. You see pathetic people do pathetic things not because they are pathetic but because they are sick and tired of the people judging them.  They want to do these things perhaps on some level to piss the gentry off and on another level they want to travel deep into their dungeons and see what monster is locked in it. You’d be surprised to hear that there is more chance of finding a teddy bear than a monster inside! Because there isn’t a monster. They are not bad people. They are lovable adorable inside. But then who gives a damn and hence the pathetic facade.

Anyways after the silence, I asked what happened then? He said, the sun came out and we bid adieu till another night. That was a good night.

Golden Chair

I am a kid and the world is full of angels and I feel so nice. Sun is up, winds blowing, trees swaying, flowers all around, Ah! I feel so nice. There is this T.V. show I see regularly. In that there is a prince and lots of people and huge hallways, just like my house. Not to forget he has this chair. Golden chair. I love that chair. I have been asking my mom to get me one. She tells me to wait. Learn patience. She gives me these religious books. I don’t particularly like them, but don’t want to offend mama now don’t I. I need that chair you see. There is this trick around elders, Be nice to them and they will do everything you want.

But.. but.. you know what, today is my big day. She said I’ll get the chair. See, I know the tricks! Ah! I am psyched. She says she has bought it and it is already in that other room. I hope she has got the right one!

I pass through a large hallway (Toldya my house has one!), lots of people standing, cheering me up. Today is my big day know.

Ah! There it is the chair. It’s perfect. Perfect. My golden chair. As I sit on it ah! I feel so nice!

News reader: “Today the infamous mass murderer was finally executed by electrocution. As it seems he actually asked for the chair! We have with us Jailor of the prison, also in charge in person of the prisoner. Sir, would you to tell us, how was the devil like?”

Jailor: “I don’t know about the devil miss. The guy sure looked repentant for his deeds. He read all the books we gave him. When I would go to give him food, all he would ask me was when is he getting the chair? He’d cry for it like a kid. God sure does has his way to penetrate through souls doesn’t he.. Infact, I would like to add, as we took him to the chamber where the chair was installed, there were people crying out words of hatred..He said to me “Angels!”, was cheerful even as he sat on the chair!, coz burden of the murders from his soul is being relived soon probably…”  

News reader: “Having said that, I am sure nothing can change the horrendous act he committed. I feel the world is a better place already”

Voices

Red room. People talking. No windows. No doors.

“I like shadows!”

“You like shadows?”

“You mean shadows, shadows??”

“What are you two surprised at! Yes I like shadows!!”

“You’re a creep!”

“Why?”

 “No I am not a creep! I mean look at them.. no caste, no creed, no identity, no being, All in one and one in all.. there are no objects, no animals and no humans in their realm, all shadows!”

“Also, all black, all monotonous, all bound, all creepy!”

“Yeah! I mean consider this.. they accompany humans all their life.. and they creep these very humans out! Alas! them shadows... despicable them shadows!”

“Leave it! You two wont understand!.. by the way.. speaking of bound.. wonder what a feeling would be... to be free?”

“Freedom!?.. look at you.. I guess you have forgotten, we are in a bound red room! Who is incharge of the interiors here by the way??”

“Wait a minute now... our guy here might be upto something.. carry on.. you were saying about freedom..”

“Ya.. see I am not implying humans are free.. all I am saying is they can feel the feeling for a fleeting moment, before getting sucked back into reality.. where all they have is the illusion of the feeling.. the original is long gone!..”

“What a piece of worthless crap!”

“Oh come on now.. I am actually interested in what he is saying.. What of the fleeting moment of freedom then? What is the nature of it? How can we contain it? Can it be contained?”

“Excellent questions!”

“Oh shit!”

“Sush you!!”

“See I don’t think the real feeling can be contained.. but I wonder if they can be made worth while by stopping that process of being sucked into the system again..It however is inevitable, until we live. Until we live...”

“Oh dear god! We have a philosopher among our midst!.. yes yes..very pretty.. very charming.. can we please stop this nonsense!”

“You are ignorant you know that!!... guy has a point here.. so you mean to die with content than to live with the illusion of it? Hmmm..”

“Exactly! Imagine a super villain.. baddest of the bad dogs.. done it all, seen it all types.. meets the protagonist..Now this hero of ours is burning with rage.. ties this badass to a table.. takes a butchers knife.. about to cut this guy into pieces..but you see..as the knife approaches the villain.. He might just be relived.. he was anyway bored..and best of all before this feeling of wisdom vanishes.. he will be mince meat! See what I mean??”

“This is it! shut it! Just shut it! Thoughts imagining thoughts..could this day get any worse??”

“No! You shut it! Through out the discussion..not even one productive element.. and all criticism!.. you know what your problem is mate.. All your doors are shut! and keys thrown away!.. The guy is trying to say something.. but no.. you are mister know it all!.. You know what in your headache you actually forgot we are your thoughts! It is your mind who is making us talk! And you are the one to grumble! Its your head... you are the one who did the interiors!.. you are the damned head master of this school!! Now, Shut it and go to sleep!!”

Traveller

I have embarked a journey. Journey to a place where winds live. It is not a mere adventure my travel. I seek an answer. I seek an answer to a question “What is beauty?”

I went door to door, asked as many people I could. Most of them pointed to a sanatorium, some of them had no clue and one of them told “Go ask the winds!  They have been a force that has dwelled since primordial times. They would certainly know wouldn’t they?” But caution to be exercised he said. The path is not easy he said. They need to trust you and they don’t trust you easily he said.

Winds have a unique way of testing you. They gauge you with the fiery winds, anneal you with the chill, wash you out with a downpour and bombard with hail stones until from all the traits you might possess, a trait that defines you has been singled out. If it is worthy enough they will grant you an audience.

I don’t know how long I have been travelling. I have lost track of time, lost track of people, lost track of living, but haven’t lost track of being human yet. Yes, my physical weakness, my weary eyes, my bleeding nose, my cold ears, my parched lips, my stooped shoulders, my frozen hands, my hungry stomach, my cramping legs they all remind me, I am still human. All that keeps me beating is my inhumane heart, keeps reminding me it’s the land of winds I seek. It reminds me that it is just a test. It tells me not to worry. It tells me I’ll keep you warm and beating. It tells me to crack on with it. It tells me to endure.

Seems like a couple of more months have passed. I can barely walk now. My walking stick has long withered. The winds are too boisterous for me to hear the voices inside my head. The fog is too thick. Makes you feel trapped.

I fall. I lie still. The sharp, dry, cold stones are not at all helping.

But then something starts beating again, wants me to go on. I explain, I can’t stand, I don’t have the strength. It says, well if you can’t walk, if you can’t move, if you don’t give up all you have, how can the great winds even trust you? If the question has dawned on you, it must be because you have enough strength to uncover it. Whether or not you are able to sacrifice your being for it, decides that eventually you’ll uncover it or no.

I start dragging my self. Inch by inch. Feeling the excruciating surface. Pinch by pinch. Thrusting myself forward.  This is all I have. Winds! What ever you give, I’ll endure. I went forward stone by stone. Until.. there were none!

Fog suddenly clears up. I am lying on the edge of a cliff. What lies ahead of me as I peep through is land where the great winds exist in perfect symphony. The clouds weave like hair locks, The pools look like charcoaled charming eyes. Nothing is static. The hurricane at the crux is comforting. The whole design just gives away the answer. Oh! Valley of winds, you beauty! 

Dream

I am in a pool of clear blue water. I am swimming. Pushing the water behind, strolling ahead I see end of the pool. Wall of white tiles. I touch it and do a roll back. I push the wall of white tiles and start back over. There is something different though. The water is bubbling; it is as though the water is going upwards. Oh! No, no it is actually as if somebody has inverted a glass of water.

I am standing on the floor now and there is a heavy, heavy rain of clear blue water. Visibility is really low and I see a figure in the rain. Can’t recognize who, but there is definitely someone. I start following the figure as she starts walking away.

Suddenly, there is light. No, it is not the sunrise, just bright light diffusing through the clouds. Rain has stopped. It is bright every where and oh yes I am on the edge of a cliff. I jump. Intentionally. I can feel the wind during the fall. I feel like a leaf in a tornado. I fall, and I fall directly into the sea. I am standing on the sea bed, breathing under water. It is dim, but I can see. I can see her again. That faint figure among the fishes.  Am I going mad?

The water near me snaps suddenly and now I am inside a box. Box has slits from which I can peep out. I peep out. Oh! I am actually floating in an ocean. It is raining heavily and then there is someone walking on water. A far distant image. Oh! It is her again. I am definitely going mad.

As I try hard to stir myself towards her I find myself now tied to a tree, kneeling down hands tied. Oh! There are people lots of people. They are pelting stones at me. It is excruciating, the pain. My body is bleeding red and It is raining. After a while when I can’t feel anything anymore, pelting stops, people disperse and then when there was no one around, she walks in. This time she is walking towards me.

Oh! I can see her face now! I see it is You!!

She unties me and my body falls on the wet earth with a thud. My blood starts to mix and diffuse in water. This diffusion is strange. The blood trail is following her receding figure. Veins from my body start to ooze out and diffuse inside the earth. Infact, I am completely absorbed inside and the full planet becomes a big, huge, red lump of veins, pumping blood. This lump also seems to be following her!

“You can’t just walk away with it like that!” I said.

She turns back, smiles and says “But I can..”

Ya she can.

Folks, Mind is an unstable mine and mine is an unstable mind.

   

The Moon

Once on earth there were zombies. Among them zombies there was this zombie who was as usual running, hunting and suddenly he saw the moon. The moon he felt, the moon. Suddenly in his marooned life there was the moon. “Oh! The moon where have you been?” he said. He forgot to run, to hunt he forgot it all. He had the moon. It was like magic.

Moon looked at him some times, at least that’s what he thought. May be moon loves him back, May be moon abhors him.

Futile love that’s what it was...or was it? He who has fallen without gravity would know.. he who had played with a tornado would know..He who has leapt from a cliff just for an idea would know.

Well, days passed creatures around ate each other until there was nothing else to. Nobody noticed this moon gazer. He didn’t mind too. But then they finally saw him. He saw them coming. He was not afraid to be eaten away, he was already dead. All he thought had the moon known. Yes moon would have refuted him, he knew it already. But boy, the satisfaction that the moon knows..totally different thing!

And so eventually the zombie was eaten away. Moon never knew he existed. Dumb zombie I’d say.. investing in love.. so unlike them..but may be.. just may be he wasn’t a zombie.. may be he was human... fighting for his existence.. sheep in a wolf’s skin. How would that have changed anything is still a question.. not that humans are expert in love...yes they feel it.. but that’s about it.

How does it matter the moon anyway?

Tornado

You can’t! You can’t! You can’t!

I am fed up of this!

Ok! I have a bullet in my head, but why can’t I get up. As a matter of fact I just woke up. The town is strange though. Well for one, every one looks like me and they all are running from something.

Hey! That was my rocking horse! And is that me dragging it along?! Oh! And that’s me in the school uniform! Me in a superman dress, me as a pizza delivery guy, me as the auto rickshaw guy, me with beard, me in various forms few of them I was, few I wasn’t. Ok. It’s a bit weird. Yes, I saw “Game of Shadows” last night and yes Mycroft’s “He’s all me, me, me isn’t he?” was in my mind but this is a bit of an overreaction isn’t it?!

Anyways all mes are running away, well, also staring at me! As if I am different from them, an alien.

I am you! I am me...am I?...I don’t know.

Also, I don’t feel like running away. There is something calling me, attracting me, pulling me. I go past the flux of running mes. I reach a cliff. Valley below. A tornado brewing. Ok.

So is this what they were running from! Why am I not running?

“Because you cannot”

“Who??”

“The tornado”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!”

“I thought you were smart”

“Smart?! Dude or whatever you are why I cannot run?? Why am I fascinated by you?”

“Fascinated eh! So you are different, I could see it in you”

“Different from? Who are you? I mean actually?”

“I am the tornado. I am all what the past you ran from, was afraid from. I am love, I am responsibility, I am rage , I am truth. I am your one way ticket to peace. All those people you saw were images from your past, all what you were, or you wanted to be. They all. Yes, they all ignored me, ran from me. I defeated them, tortured them brought them down. They hid me in their deepest closests and I kept on brewing . Now, I am a tornado. So, You version 1.1 would you do what you couldn’t do? Or you’ll also run, run like a rat, I would love that. Mauling you has become boring, but this could be fun!”

“Did you just say ticket to peace? Yes peace is what I want. Yes this was the missing link. That’s the purpose of my  life. Finding peace. The calmness. You just gave me a goal, The purpose to my wallowed life. For a life long of peace you ask me could I? Ya. I guess I could. Bring it on.”

My eyes suddenly open and people around me look different. They look more real.

Finally, I am awake.

Room

I am an empty room. I had a friend once. The Pigeon. He came to me a youngling, could hardly fly. Then slowly as days passed by he built his nest on one of my ventilators. I saw him bring weed by weed and build a home. I saw him sleep at nights in his cozy abode. Funny, how a confined space feels more comfortable than spacious halls.

There were days he would circle round and round and ask me

“Dance with me?”

“Why don’t you?”

“See, I can fly!”

Me being a bulky, brick and mortar creature flew through his wings, danced through his acrobats. He was one I could never be. He was one I always wanted to be. Ah! Those were the days the fun we had!

The inauguration day was nearing. I was to be the grandest in the city. They painted me fresh, decorated me with flowers all around, people all around. Among the entire conundrum one thing was missing. Where did he go? I searched the nooks and corners of my confines, where did he go?!

Months, Years passed. Many bards came, sang songs and went away. Many people came, laughed, cried, debated and went away.

You humans can’t see. You humans never see. You always expect me to greet you kindly be flashy and new. You know what, I don’t want to be! I hate you humans for making me so. Non-living. Something you pretend not to be.

It would have been great dear friend, if you could come to me, teach me how to fly in confined spaces. Teach me how to be oblivious to the grandness of the plans and enjoy the minuteness.

I am a non living entity. My only hope has flown away. I want peace now. My friend and the sad part is humans don’t let me rot. Let me go wretched race! Let me be! Ya, I know you wouldn’t. You would keep me alive for centuries, will make me historic, will make me a tourist spot. All that but wouldn’t let me die in peace.

I am a room full of people. I am so empty.  

Fly

It is like a scream. Yup, it’s definitely it. It is something like a dreadful scene provokes your emotions, the body goes against the obvious and the mute throat has a voice. Your heart races at the sight of its shattered self, your eyes can’t comprehend it, your rationality is in denial, and something deep inside wants to rebel, turn the order, and bring chaos. You over power even the mightiest of physical conditions and you scream. It ain’t pretty. But it is the voice of your shattered past, it is the voice of a new beginning, it is a voice of triumph.

Such moments are rare. The big bang of your existential universe, the Hiroshima of your internal wars.

It clears your mind, wipes off the garbage and makes you a kamikaze- the divine wind. You have a voice, nay a roar, don’t just let it go. Adore it. Live by it. Die for it.

Boy, be born from your ashes, spread your wings and fly.

Unknown

In pitch darkness he found the stones, struck them and made fire. There was light. There was harmony. There was a solution. He fancied this light, this harmony, this solution, not realizing it was actually the darkness that gave him the solution not the light; He took the message and rejected who inspired it! When he got light he worked on assumptions that the aura would alleviate the darkness, the buffoon! He missed the abundant and shook hands with boundaries. Dark got ostracized and light got publicized. Light got worshiped and dark got demonized. There lies a key difference between absolute darkness and absolute light. Brightest of lights tend to close the eyes; Darkest of dark tends to open them. What worth is an answer if there is no question? However, the question stands alone. It is this resoluteness of the dark; it’s this unwavering nature that probably scared the lot and they eventually held the light. Light is for the faint hearted, It is for those who ponder over the solved, It exists on the expense of energy, where as dark is what’s omnipresent it exists on its own, is the realm of the unknown. If there was a god it probably lies in dark and not the light. He can’t live in light. It is not worth his hype.

I now see the fire. Fire with boundaries. It does not ruin the darkness around. I now acknowledge the dark and leave away the weak with boundaries. Oh! Lord of darkness, Lord of noise, Lord of the unknown! you might have been written away as a devil but I see you now. In you lies the secret of secrets, the question of questions. I promise to you I will diligently create fire but will not get subdued by its boundaries. I will walk in to your realms for the new. I realize that I am mere mortal and you the endless ocean. Oh! Hero of the dark, The Quiz master of the world! I have come to worship you. I realize your message, your inspiration to the mankind.

If this is what is meant by “trading with the devil”, so be it.

Ghost King

There is a puff of dust following me. World around is dismal. Distant crows are audible. Occasional water splashes. I am drenched with sweat and I am running. I am running far. I am running fast. I am running from people. I am running from my life. I hated it. It was one with cheerful people. All happy, all filled with energy and between all of them was I, miserable! Yuck! Even the thought makes me sick. Wherever I go, mingle and interact. People gather around me. They always seem to be giving me things. Not normal things. Damn! It’s so hard to explain! Nobody ever believes me though. They say I am making things up! They say I am a crazy kid! Once a guy approached me, offering me a knife. The guy looked so weird that I obviously passed out. When I woke up I was surrounded by my folks. I immediately told them what happened.  They told its just too much TV! Can you believe that!

Let me tell you it was not just a one off incident. In fact since this knife incident people regularly come to me and try giving me weird stuff. Like for example, once when I was playing in the park, this guy walks upto me and tells me to take his car! I told him what a kid will do with a car?! He just knelt down, started sobbing and pleaded me to take the car. I obviously threw my ball & bat and ran back to the orphanage. I even fetched my friends to the park, pointed the man to them but all they could see was grass! Half an hour later I found my self in front of a doctor! My folks obviously thought I need medical attention. To hell with telling them I thought.

It just went on routinely. I encountered people like twice a week. There was this lady with the rope, and this guy with a bag full of money, Oh! and ya how can I forget this girl who tried giving me a rose. First I thought, “Awesome day!” but, as soon as I took the rose she smiled, said thank you and vanished away! The rose withered away too! It went on with this crazy stuff until, when I visited the hospital today and I was approached by a guy who tried to give me a piece of flesh! He told me it was the fetus of his wife that he had forced her to abort. Horrorified, I had just turned around when this guy comes and offers me his eyes! That was it. I have had it enough. I just ran. Ran far. Ran fast.

Damn! I just can’t run anymore. I am almost away from civilization. Resting on this rock under the tree would probably give solace to the troubled and weeping me! Oh dying Sun! Give me the strength to be at peace…. The strength to be at peace…peace…peace. The cool breeze sent a chill down my spine. The moons up? I dozed off! Geez who are these people again! How the hell did they ever find me?? And not one, not two, hundreds of them. Surrounding me. Staring at me. All having something in their hands.

“Who the hell are you people?!”

“What do you want??!!”

“Leave me alone!!!”

One of them came forward. He had medicines in his hands. He started “Apologies sire”.

“I am no sire!! You have me confused with some one else!”

“Of course not. There is no confusion. You are the ghost king. Sent upon to free us lingering ghosts”

“Ghosts?!”

“Yes ghosts. Don’t be afraid. We know you are human. We are not here to harm you. I’ll answer all the questions you have. Be satisfied.”

“Finally!”  “Why me?”

“Nobody knows sire. Destiny may be.”

“Okay! Why do you guys keep coming offering me these weird things?”

“Sire, these are our guilts. Guilts form the deeds we did in human life. The guy with the knife was a murderer. Lady with the rope had hung her self. Person with the car ran over a guy. Girl with the rose could never give it to a boy. You already know about the man with a fetus and the guy over there standing with his eyes, stood mute and saw injustice” “As for me I could not reach my wife with medicines in time” “You see we are not here to hurt you, in fact it is just that we have carried  it far too long. Every one among these hundreds has guilts, take it and let us go. Let us go sire. Let us go”

I am actually feeling sorry for these guys. If I could I would let them go. “What do I have to do?”

“Just take what we offer, the same as you did for that girl with the rose”

“And that’s it? You’ll be free?”

“Well… yes we will be free… but as you keep taking our offerings you’ll feel worse and worse”

I guess, ability to wash away sins comes with a price. Moreover mum always used to teach “live for other people”. Funny, she forgot to mention about ghosts! 

“Well, if I don’t do it probably my hands won’t be enough for my guilt.” “Bring it on then, be free.”

Wacko

...stop the light...please stop the light...stop the light...please stop the light...

“Who is this wacko??”

“Hell I don’t know I have been here a guard for 10 yrs and all I have heard him murmur is to stop the light!”

“But its completely dark in there isn’t it??”

“Dark!? Dude is even blind!”

“A wacko really!! Quite creepy actually..”

“Oh! Don’t worry, its your first day right? You’ll get used to it!”

“Shit! Just out of curiosity you know how he ended in this asylum??”

“Well, all I know are stories.. I doubt if anyone knows the actual deal..”

“Stories are fine by me! Common then.. start talking!”

“Well from what I hear the guy was some sort of a big shot in a government facility during the war years.. They seem to be testing those drug things on patients.. You know to optimize and facilitate the drug effects”

“Whoa.. whoa..whoa.. where did you learn all these words from!?”

“Shut up nutcase and listen on!.. Now the rumour is.. due to pressure coz of the war.. these guys were forced to bypass the complete procedures..”

“Sounds like resident evil to me! You sure you are not making this up??”

“Damnit! Would you listen on or no!?”

“Don’t go hyper man! Go on I am listening..”

“Now it so happened that our guy here was totally against it.. He was actually worried some thing worse is coming... and these subjects could be a threat to society if released. Unfortunately, nobody agreed with him, in fact all his under staff thought he was a hurdle for development!”

“ Support staff!! Bunch of illiterates!”

“Sussshh! Well, one day... our guy goes incinerates the subjects (humans).. Massacres the support staff (all 20 of them).. sets the new batch of people free.. and over dozes himself with some sort of chemical!”

“Whaat! Lunatic! Murderer! Tyrant!”

“You are probably alive because of him! You ass! Be gratefull!”

“You out of your goddam mind?? He incinerated people! Massacred his colleagues!”

“He probably thought this is the only way!!”

“Nothing can justify killing!! Hmmm.. Whatever! How he ended up here!? Wasn’t he supposed to be dead!?”

“Hmmmm... well he was some how saved.. he told the government everything.. as it was... they agreed upon the facts... but rejected the conclusion... you see they thought he was a spy.. and had deliberately destroyed the facility..They tortured him for more information...  I hear they removed his eyelids and continuously exposed him to the focused light beam...he kept on begging them to stop... which they finally did once he was diagnosed to be blind!... and ultimately they threw him here..Conferring him as photophobic! Brute isn’t it?!”


"Huh!"

...stop the light...please stop the light...stop the light...please stop the light...

Change

I was. I am no more. Instead of me lies he, stands he, indulges he.

I in my grandeur was lord of lands, vast lands, all embedded with lush green grass, arranged and neatly trimmed bushes, a hillock where the sun rose and a lake where the moon did shine. Ah! The clear water, it reflected the skies such that it was tough to differentiate heavens from earth. There was a section filled with flowers of almost all colours and aromas. There were roses, there were daffodils and there were poppies. I remember walking through them feeling the grass beneath, moist with the dew drops. Below this lied the fertile land. I swear you could feel it breathe! You could see the little earthworms playing and moving along the land like cheerful dolphins in an ocean. The wind would just fill your lungs, they would in turn oblige and expand with the gushing oxygen, which would in response send in vibes of enthusiasm and youth. Ah! The calm, the serene, they always rung sweet violin in my ears.

But (Yes here comes the BUT), you see people say you are always lonely at the top. Well, people say right. There came a phase where I thought I had seen it all, done it all. Then one day as I was at the lake shore staring at the boring moon and the regular milkyway, there was a red flash and he came riding a meteor. He told me he was me. He told me to sit back and relax and my loneliness would be a thing of the past. With a swish the butterflies started emanating light, with a swish the trees started bearing berries. Change to me felt exciting. I entrusted him who was being me with the change, closed my eyes to his indulgence and I rue the very day!

Oh! Stop the bickering you old dog! When would you stop cribbing about what I did to you? Look deep inside isn’t this what you wanted? CHANGE! That red flash and that asteroid I landed from was a day inevitable. Force of nature if you may.

Let me take over and elaborate! Let them hear it from creator of the present! My version, the real version. So! Where I was? Yes, I came riding a red flash asteroid. I turned butterflies into fireflies (gave a glimpse of things to come). But the fool thought it was pure light! You see devils don’t come with brochures, interpret at your own risk. I made the trees bore berries. The geezer seemed happy and looked over. If only he would have taken a bite! You see I am the result of years of ignorance in matters he thought were Infinitesimal. I stand before you the catastrophic aggregate of this ignorance. The ground beneath, he talked about, the ones he sweared could breathe?! Well matter of fact is they actually do breathe, for beneath them lies bodies of residuals and unwanted. These trees they no more grow from nutritious water, no sir! It is the blood soaked in this earth that runs through them. The berries, as your teeth would land on its soft surface, as the pressure from your canine builds and the membrane cracks, there oozes a very thick viscous fluid that ran in somebody’s veins once. Ah! The saline taste, the feeling of content, nothing could match that! You see coincidently my favourite colour is red. World now is polychromatic in the realm of red and its shades. Flowers are now thorns; the pain they inflict signifies mortality, no more illusion of aroma. World is ashes and ashes it will be. Ground is vested with leeches. Ah! beautiful creatures the leeches. They hide like a ninja and suck the very life out of you and what more you’ll feel no pain! Calm and serene if you may. Structurally I haven’t changed much. There still is a lake where sun hides and there is still a hillock where moon vanishes. There still is a lake but it now paints the heavens red. It still sounds of violins only the ears have changed.

He was. He is no more. Instead of him I lie, I stand, I indulge. Now I stand before you staring at this razed moon and the destroyed milky way.

What’s that? Did I see a white flash? It can’t be. It just can’t be. Is it the CHANGE?

Cosmic Hate

 Hate! Fill your hearts with it. Let it exude from your volcanic self. Let it come forth with the heat and ashes.

 Let it overflow with force of the molten earth.

Erupt! Create tremors. Let them know that you despise! Let the earth below them crack. Let your anger out with the orange lava glow. Let its heat diffuse through their skin right up to their bones.

Burn the disguise, there is nothing more to hide. Raise your fists and let it go.

You have been standing in rain, have bogged down and endured, endured and endured. This is it. Bang your fists to your heart and let the tornado out. Let them see the crop they have sowed. Wipe them out tear it apart and bring it down. Why did he make you? All that life cycle and crap. This is the time and vengeance is the key. Let them be strong, you have seen it all. You have nothing to loose. Maul them like the hungry tiger. See them wriggle. Catch your prey and rip it apart. Let the blood fountain be your salvation. Take pride in turning them into a viscous fluid.

Hate it! Let your tears only be equalled by the blood bathed earth. Take it and wipe across your head! It’s your trophy.

Nothing hurts you anymore, nothing matters to you anymore. You are one with body and mind and this is your last stand. 

Villain

[A multi-storey building, surrounded by interpol officials, A man jumps from one of the floors]

10 seconds to impact: 

"I'll be fine, I did the right thing, world was a shit-hole any way. They would have caught me. They would have taken it from me. They don't understand. They don't see it. It was the only way."

9 seconds:

"Probably will be tagged a villain. well that is in the case if people survive it. Thats OK. Its the villains who stamp the presence of a higher authority."   

8 seconds:

"Come to think of it, i don't feel like a villain. No evil smiles inside. I have given it everything and all thats left of me is a purpose."

7 seconds:

 "It's a purpose i was born for. Voices inside my head call it redemption. Between all of it can a purpose be bad if no one understands it?"

6 seconds:

"In my lifetime they branded me as a terrorist, menace to society. But, i know i was chosen. I was chosen to carry on a deed. That will wash away all their sins. All i ever prayed for was to have mercy on them"

5 seconds:

"All i ever did was keep relieving people of their misery. People don't always know they need help, that they need to be freed. You need the eyes to see through the material world. I have got one, yet i am a terrorist"

4 seconds:

 "What i have in my hand is sort of a colleague- "Messenger of death". Yes, a vial of viruses that would wipe out populations overnight. Silent death. Merciful death. Blessed death."

3 seconds:

"I wonder if i'll go to heaven or are we just god's favorite hitmen? we just wash his dirty laundry perhaps"

2 seconds:

"Ah! the few seconds of my mortal life, their life, humanities' life. In a few seconds me and this vial will hit the floor. My Destiny. Heroes might die in vain, but villains always fullfill their purpose."

1 second:

[Smile]

Impact: [thud, crack]. And so it begins..

Gello

You know whats weird? doing something else and thinking of something else, for example, I am supposed to kill people now, but i have this craving for mushrooms right now. Never ate them but still cravings are cravings. I hate cravings! they control your mind, send in a kick and suddenly there are thousands of neurons firing the signal for need.

I am a sniper by the way, not a psychopath! its just that i love to kill people. have you eaten a gello before? that squishy feeling as your teeth dig deeper.. I love it! I guess its the same reason why i love killing. Its sort of a hobby, i just imagine people are like blood bags and BAM! its the squishy feeling all over again. Ah! see all the mushroom craving has gone now.. its just the best thing about the brain i like, give it a lethalier thought and it grabs to it like parasite leaving the mundane (in this case the mushrooms) behind. Cure of a addiction is another addiction.

All you need to know about me is that i got bugged of humanitarian animosity and went to the highest mountain so that i can see them all and start shooting them one by one- NO RESERVATION- NO SYMPATHY.

I'll tell you a secret. Unlike most people who feel like they have a purpose of life- meant to be a hero and all that crap, I feel i have something dark inside me- meant to destruct. Who would have thought the guy who didn't even hurt a fly is now a trigger away from causing mayhem.

I am a terrorist, I am true to myself, I do what i feel is correct no drapes between me and myself, both abhor each other equally and there are no surprises. This is in contrast to most people who feel hatred and lock it inside them.. deep deep inside. What follows is a series of uncoordinated volcanic eruptions- hence the tale of human life.

So now I am standing on a summit of gods of gods looking down upon humanity.. watching people at their narcissistic best. Perhaps i should mention at this point that I love, love. It liberated me and here I am liberating people. Hand of god with the RayBan glasses.

Now, I look through the lenses for the worthy prey and what do i see? There is a man looking at me! smiling for that matter! who the hell is he calling? (my cell phone rings) ME!? who the hell is he??

Me: Hello! who are you??

Stranger: You weren't the first...you wont be the last.. (with an all knowing smile.. i hate that!)

(call disconnects)

Moment of truth and agony: I the hand of god have lost my handedness, my purpose.. a sudden dawn at the fact that if you have a problem, probably you are the problem and BAM! I am gello.